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ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

empress-of-derp:

onlyblackgirl:

foodthatlookslikeiggyazalea:

Iggy Azalea and kraft singles

That pack of kraft cheese got more singles than she do tho.

image

my-other-plans-fell-through:

xxcaptainkurtxx:

poppunk-jesus:

my-other-plans-fell-through:

doing eyeliner is literally like trying to draw a straight line using Paint

image

Hold down the shift key

oh yes your right let me just hold down the fucking shift key on my eyeball 

crimewave360:

shinygays:

My anaconda don’t want none unless the state of the economy recovers, minimum wage workers see an increase in their pay, and women, racial, and sexual minorities acquire their rights.

hun

ravenclawslibrary:

bookworldau:

We’re all too familiar with this.

That is the single greatest moment of panic I’ve ever experienced.

ravenclawslibrary:

bookworldau:

We’re all too familiar with this.

That is the single greatest moment of panic I’ve ever experienced.

randompandemonium:

soprie:

actionables:

hmm, yoga is kind of girly #nohomo let’s rename it so it sounds manlier and make it just for the bros for the bros only

WHY DO MEN NEED TO REBRAND EVERYTHING TOUCHED BY WOMEN?
SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR YOGURT AND SALAD AND DO YOUR YOGA


FOLLOW UP YOUR INTENSE BROGA SESSION WITH SOME BROGURT AND A BRAH-LAD

randompandemonium:

soprie:

actionables:

hmm, yoga is kind of girly #nohomo
let’s rename it so it sounds manlier and make it just for the bros
for the bros only

WHY DO MEN NEED TO REBRAND EVERYTHING TOUCHED BY WOMEN?

SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR YOGURT AND SALAD AND DO YOUR YOGA

FOLLOW UP YOUR INTENSE BROGA SESSION WITH SOME BROGURT AND A BRAH-LAD

flash-thunder:

Women make up 45% of the gaming community and 0% of the protagonists of the 25 biggest games of the year.

"Yes, but that’s still a minority! If more women played video games, there would be more reason to have female protagonists!"

Men make up 35% of the cinema audience and 84% of the protagonists of the 25 biggest movies of the year.

chillybucky:

If you defend a guy for his nudes getting leaked (“aw it’s okay we still love you1!1!1!!!”) but then shame a girl for her nudes getting leaked (“what a slut she shouldn’t have taken them in the first place!!1!1!!!”) I hope you step on many lego pieces at once.

snickidoodle:

d0nn0:

beyoncevevo:

there needs to be a month between august and september 

october???

son i have news for you

singingsh0wtunes:

subway sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to puns

singingsh0wtunes:

subway sure doesn’t mess around when it comes to puns

macabrekawaii:

itscalledfashionlookitup:

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

"Don’t take a nude pic if you’re a famous woman and don’t want it leaked."

mysharona1987:

"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."

"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."

"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."

"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."

Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.

bornabitch-allthedaysandnights:

combatproana:

dont eat potatoes its culturally appropriating to the irish and as a non irish person it offends ME

Potatoes were first grown and domesticated in Peru by the Andean/Inca people. Not in Ireland. 

If you’re going to try to make a pathetic joke, at least know what you’re talking about first. 

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html